Exhausted

I'll apologise in advance if this is totally incoherent. Sleep is scarce around here.

Everyone is home now. Enzo came home yesterday afternoon. He's been curious about Sebastián, checking him out. He's also at least a little jealous. He's been "acting out," for lack of a better word, playing very noisily as close to Sebastián as possible, talking back to Julian and me, as well as being a little stand-offish. But on the other hand, he's trying to help us. He's helped with a couple of diaper changes and will bring us supplies that we need. Sebastián was crying and Enzo was hypothesizing about what he needed..."Maybe he needs his mommy." "Maybe he's hungry." "Maybe he needs his pacifier." I think we'll make it.

I've been getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night. The amount of sleep itself isn't the problem. It's how it comes. Last night it was 2 hours from 10-12, 2 more hours from 1-3 and then one hour from 4:30-5:30. Some of that was bought for me by Julian since he knew I was so tired and he did as much as he could before coming for me.

The other thing that's been icky but expected is recovering from surgery at the same time as trying to care for a newborn. I can't lift anything heavier than the baby for 2 weeks. No driving for 2 weeks.

My right foot is swollen. My abdomen is really sore. I've been constipated. I have always-fashionable dark circles under both eyes. I'm sure this is probably more than you ever needed or wanted to know, but this is about all I have to talk about at the moment. My life at the moment is a blur. I eat when I can, sleep when I can, and the rest of the time it's all about the kids.

I can't believe I just said kids. I have 2 children now. We're a family of 4. I was the one who always said that I'd never have kids...and here I am now, looking at my family and crying tears of joy.